One of those days

It seems at times people get the impression that I have it all together and that life is smooth sailing here. I am smiling as I type that because if only that could ever be true. Granted, our day to day life is much easier than it was in the early years of raising children. But, it is no bed of roses. I still have those days where I am tested from the moment I wake up and I end up texting John "I can't do this! Pray for me!" And it is those days that I find myself truly depending on the only one who can give me the strength I need for the task I have been given.

Friday, was one of those days. For that matter, the whole week had been really off as well. Two of our boys were at a summer day camp for most of the week but that seemed to upset the apple cart as fighting and yelling abounded. Well, with the boys home again, one of our children was so grumpy. It probably started with one little thing and then another sibling irritated him and someone else said something he didn't like until it blew up to a full-out - I-am-not-going-to-be-happy mood. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was that was bothering him but we all knew he was out of sorts. I have felt this way before so I didn't press it too hard. I have come to the point where it is best to let the child alone to sort it out. But I have also added in giving them scripture to meditate on and songs to listen to to help bring them to the only One who can help them to choose joy.

Well, three hours of this passed and I had had it. My patience, unfortunately, is very thin the way it is but I had done my best that morning and now I was at the end. So, of course I lost it which did not help this boy and he told me so. {Sigh} What was I thinking?!?! Of course that snapped me out and we discussed the whole wasted morning and both got our attitudes adjusted in the meantime. 

I still have no idea how to snap someone out of a grumpy spirit. For that matter, I don't always know how to snap myself out. But as I drove to the store by myself a song came on the radio and as I belted it out I found myself truly dwelling on the words and the tears began to fall as I remembered why we go through days like that. I cannot rely on my own strength and on those good days find myself doing just that. But when I have "one of those days" -- I fall on my knees and draw closer to the only One who can give me strength. No, it isn't something magical where all of the problems and fighting, and attitudes melt away. But at the end of the day I know I am a tiny bit closer to the Lord than I had been the day before. And the struggle of the day was worth it to know my Savior more.

Lord, I Need You (Matt Maher) Based on a great old hymn....

Lord, I need You, Oh, I need You

Every hour I need You

My one defense, my righteousness

Oh God, how I need You